Ah ha, Living Life as it Were! That is All…

You know, it seemed that once in my life it was my perception that to live a spiritual life was to be conscious of reality from it highest vantage point, and that even though it was okay to suffer, you wouldn’t be if you were truly in that state of mind. But now, I can feel an added sense of depth to this so-called spiritual wisdom. And that is: To suffer, to desire, to want, to be upset, to be happy, to love and experience all of these emotions is to be human. And I have realized now that above everything else, spiritual or otherwise, it is most important for me to simply express my genuine nature as a human being in this moment.

“Be true to thy self and you will be free in the eyes of God” or so it was.

And that, being true to oneself, I have found, is the key to ones happiness, sense of self-worth, and fulfillment. Recently, I’ve found myself saying, “I’m living the life I want to live.” And I felt in those moments that quality of fulfillment – so long as I was doing whatever action or thought I intuitively felt best expresses “my self” in that instance.

Another quality I find is the great sense of acceptance and, in its time, forgiveness that you can have for who you are. If I am sad, then let me be sad. If I’m happy, then be happy. If something doesn’t feel right, express yourself until you come to a resolution you feel good about. If you want to do something, if it feels right in your bones, if that voice inside of you speaks to you and wishes some fulfillment of a present desire – then by all means, pursue it.

It seems like what I’m describing here is naturalness, achieving that same internal harmony that can be seen when two dancers move perfectly in step, or when an athlete loses herself so completely in her sports activity that she Is the activity. When I am expressing my true nature, when I am expressing the spontaneous realization of all my wants, desires, concerns, thoughts and aspirations, I am simply being who I am, as all of the countless beings of the universe are expressing who they are. Through expressing my true self, I express the unity of the universe.

The trees: look at them! At one point they’re just a little seed but through time they express their nature as a tree. In fact, the tree is expressing its true nature in every phase of its life. And the rocks, they too, are just doing their thing. Just being rocks. And so too is it with all creatures.

If only it were that simple for us to do that! Ah ha, maybe it is…

So then, the thing I must do is stop playing games, and stop living in samsara. As samsara is, just a very, very big game. Surely, I will still live in samsara, but no longer can it be called samsara. Living life, as it were. That is all.

Aug 6th 2002

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