Love Unlimited

It was amazing reading this article in New Science about polyamory. I had often questioned the necessity of restricting our love to only one person, and had shown a desire to experiment with open relationships in the past, but wasn’t aware that this philosophy had an established name, or that there was such a strong community of like-minded people all over the world. It’s just a striking feeling to read about individuals who have arrived at an almost exact understanding of an idea independently of your own. It only demonstrates the universal nature that exists within us.

It also validates my feeling and interpretation of love. Other people have discovered the spirit and potential of a loving, polyamorous philosophy, tens of thousands maybe. It’s hard to know for sure due to a lack of census data.

But by all accounts, the number of people exploring a polyamorous philosophy seems to be trending upward. I just read an article that said discussions on polyamory had found its way into German Parliament, with a member of the Green party advocating that the government “abolish all positive discrimination favoring heterosexual marriage, and to treat it equal to all other forms of living together, because social realities have changed.”

It seems that people, unencumbered by social or religious mores, show an overwhelming inclination towards diversity in relationships. It IS natural to want to love and share your life with more than one person. And it does take off all the pressure of trying to find “the one” – this idealized person who will be able to fulfill all your needs. But no person can stimulate all parts of your brain, and by enjoying the stimulation, fun, and growth of being with multiple people, you get that well-rounded sense of fulfillment, and are that much more satisfied and appreciative for each individual relationship.

I love ____ for her spontaneity and passion for outdoor activities and her love of nature. I love _____ for her deep insights into philosophy, sociology etc and challenging late night conversations. I love _____ for the way we can communicate our deepest feelings openly and honestly, in words and without words, making love, dancing, cooking delicious food – simply having fun together.

I can love all of them for who they are. Each love unique; each love equal to the rest. The manifestation is different (that is, our interactions and dynamics being with each other are different) but the quality is the same.

The beautiful gift of this openness is that it allows you to have more loving relationships, and fulfill the complete range of each persons dynamic personality and needs, and it takes a tremendous burden off the other person, because no single person has to be everything to their partner. They can be just themselves, loved for just themselves, without an expectation more.

Can one understand, appreciate the beauty of this?

Summer 2006


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